HOW TO WIN A FILIPINA

Many men are asking the question “How to win a Filipina”. To give you a glimpse of a typical “Dalagang Filipina” (Filipina maiden), they are in nature shy and secretive about their real feelings with a suitor and is someone who is “mahinhin” (modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered). She is also not supposed to go out on a date with several men, as not to be branded as flirt, which is taboo in Filipino culture. They are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behaviour in a courtship. In such, the girl tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love.  Prolonging the courtship is one way by which the Filipina measures the sincerity of her admirer. 

Courting a Filipina is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies.  A man who is interested in courting a Filipina woman has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as too aggressive or too presumptuous. Friendly dates are often the starting point, often with a group of other friends and later may go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly. 

“Tuksuhan” is also a way of getting through a Filipina woman. Teasing or “tuksuhan” in the local language is the usual term associated with pairing off potential couples in Filipino culture.  Such gesture is common among teenagers and young adults alike. It’s a way of pairing off couples who may have mutual admiration or liking for each other.  This could result to a romance or evasion of each other if the situation becomes uncomfortable for both individuals. It is a means for 'feeling out' a woman's attitude about an admirer or suitor. As Filipinos often avoid losing face. However, if the girl 'encourages' her suitor (either by being nice to him or not getting angry with the 'teasers'), then the man can court in earnest and the romance begins.

If a man wants to be taken seriously by a Filipina woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl.  It is rather inappropriate to court her and formalize the relationship without informing the parents.  It is always expected that the guy must show his face to the girl's family.  And if a guy wants to be acceptable to the girl's family, he has to give “pasalubong” (gifts) every time he drops by her family's house.  It is a common saying in the Philippines that, courting a Filipina means courting her whole family as well.

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