Dating Someone Who Already Has Kids

Why would you prefer dating someone who has kids? This is often the question of friends and peers of guys who goes out with women who have “baggages”, a term usually coined to refer to children of single mothers, whereas there are girls who are single and baggage-less? This is something that is prevalent with most relationships now. A guy meets a girl, falling for her charms, and thinking that she is the ideal one. Later, he learns that she already has kids. Oftentimes, this information becomes the basis for what will happen: either the guy will pursue the woman and accepts her children or he will simply bail out.

Here are some advices on how to deal with building a relationship with someone who already has kids. First and foremost, be sure that this is something that is brought up at the initial stage of the getting to know process. There are some women who are very vocal in telling the men they have kids. These show that these women are secure about themselves, proud of their predicament and do not plan to keep these “secrets” from their possible partners.

However, there are also those who try not to discuss this with guys they are dating. These women should not be faulted. Perhaps they would only open up when they think that they have emotional attachments already with the guy. They do not want this truth to be the basis for you to stay in the relationship. As a precaution, look for subtle signs like when she often excuses herself from dates because of school activities by her “nephew/niece”, or when you see pictures of her with the same kid in her mobile phone, her myspace or facebook account. Once you have observed these, be ready that in the future, she might disclose to you the truth.

Second, know if you are ready to take responsibility of taking care of her and her kid. By culture, Asian women are family-oriented and are very much attached to their children. They would not make any future plans without taking into consideration the welfare of their kids. So you need not hope that in the future, she would choose you over her kids. It is wise that once this is out in the open, you decide immediately whether you would push her or not.

Third, after you have accepted this fact, you have to take time in engaging her kids in some of the activities you have planned with her. This is important because you do not only need to build the relationship with her but you also need to establish rapport with her children. This would eventually be a determinant on how she would pursue her relationship with you.    

Just like in any social situation, honesty, openness and understanding are important traits you need to have in building up a relationship. Dating someone who has kids is almost the same with dating somebody who is single. It’s just a matter of how you need to stretch yourself not just to one person but to her kids as well. Still, isn’t that what love is all about? Accepting someone despite the various constraints and making it work?

http://www.asiansbeauties.com